


Sempiternal

by Mukkie



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Liam Dunbar & Scott McCall are Siblings, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 13:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12631998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mukkie/pseuds/Mukkie
Summary: White is associated with light, goodness, innocence, purity, and virginity. It is considered to be the color of perfection.A solitary arrow represents defense and protection from harm. If more than one person gets a single arrow tattoo, it is there to mean that their friendship is going to last a lifetime.





	1. Prologue

Prologue

“Can you see him?”  
“Where?”  
“There. Right beside that tree.”  
“Yes. Who is he again?”  
“I don’t know. But people talk. Some say that he is mad and stand there thinking that his long lost friend is next to him. Others say that he has a promise to keep so he is waiting there every day for that one person he love.”  
“What about you then? What do you think is he doing there?”  
A sad smile appeared on the person’s face.  
“Me? I think that he is just lonely. I think that something is telling him that he has to wait there and that’s why he’s doing it. Maybe he is in big pain and he is searching for a way to get rid of it so he can live already.”  
“For someone who doesn’t know him, you sure can say a lot.”  
“I’m just like that, I can’t really help it. What do you think about him then?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Nothing?”  
“Absolutely nothing.”  
“Hmm… Let’s go then.”  
“Yeah, let’s go.”  
The two people left the place where they were hiding until now without knowing that the boy they were talking about has seen them.  
After they left, he looked up at the sky and smiled when he saw a balloon flying up there. He jumped when it was close to him and catch it. There was a piece of folded paper hanging on the wire of the balloon and he took it and opened it. A soft smile appeared on his face when he read it.  
Yes, it was true that people talk. But no one of them knew the real truth about him. There was only one person who knew everything about him and he would never tell anyone the whole story because if someone knew his story, he’ll be pitied and he didn’t want that.  
Sometimes he himself wondered why he keeps going there even when he knew how people stare at him and how children are being told by their mothers to stay away from him but when this kind of thoughts come through his mind he just smile wild and tells to himself that there is a reason for everything.  
And it is true, there really is.


	2. You Need Help

"It was not when I was just hearing about it, it was right when I was forsed to feel it that I understood. The pain that you feel when you are separated from someone you love is not actual pain. There is nothing that hurts in your chest, nothing that is causing you to feel pain.

No, it's emptiness. You just feel a big black hole in yourself. You don't feel alone, you just feel hopeless, confused, helpless.

And with days passing by you think you are okay. You laugh, you sing, you dance, you enjoy life, but the moment someone looks at you and ask you 'Are you okay?' you feel like you are about to cry.

You can't help it, you are defenetly okay, you are feeling fine, you just start to cry. Just like that, without any exact reason. You start to cry simply because you didn't want to go, you wanted to stay, you wanted to give it one more chance, but you knew it won't happen. You wanted to help, you wanted to prove that you care, but you were not allowed to.

You wanted to be there. You wanted to be trusted, but so much had affected you that you couldn’t find it in yourself to stay and believe anymore. You couldn’t trust anymore, because they didn’t had faith in you either.

And that's why you start to cry. Because simple “I need help” or "Please stay" was everything you needed to begin with, and it's so simple, and you didn't want to go because of this, but you couldn't take it. And you cry because you feel ashamed that you asked for so much and in the end choosed yourself. "

"Why are you ashamed?"

 "Because I'm here to please people. My opinion is not important, I'm not important. I need to make people feel good, it doesn't matter what I want. But I was being selfish and therefore, managed to screw things up."

 "Why do you think you are not important?"

 "What do you mean?" the boy asked confused, looking up from the white arrow tattoed on his arm.

"Why do you think your opinion is not important, why do you feel like you are being selfish when you do something that is good for you." It was more of a statement than a question from the man standing next to the window.

"Because that's how it's awlays been? Other's people opinion before mine. I know better than to want things for myself, it's always about how the other feel."

The young boy was getting more confused, the man could tell by the way he was starting to sound unsure.

"The thing, Liam, is that you are wrong." said the man. "You are so wrong that you even manage to cause disasters for yourself."

"I don't know what you mean." At this point Liam was standing next to the man. The sun was making his light brown hair shine, looking more blond at the light than anything else. His doe eyes staring out at the street, judging the people passing by. “I know for a fact I am right. The one time I decided to stop caring and to just say ‘no’ and turn around, I ended up stuck with you here.”

The man next to him kept silent now, just studying the boy‘s expression.

Liam's blue eyes followed the people outside, squizzing them a little when he saw someone that looked familiar. He said nothing more and they stayed silent for couple of minutes.

The man was waiting for Liam to realize that he is wrong about all of this, wrong about himself and what he should be doing in his life. No sign came though, prompting that he is not going to say anything soon, let alone realize his wrong life choises. The man sighed, and turned away from Liam.

"So what did you do?" he asked. "After you left."

Liam looked at him for a second and turned back to look trough the window.

"I was just sitting there, starring at the wall." he started explaining with a quite voice. "I don't really know what was suppossed to happen, I think I have forgotten what to do with myself without him. I already got used to having him around, calling him. Now that I didn't have him, I didn't really know what to do."

Liam stopped for a while, waving at one of the people on the street that looked up even though he knew they can't see him. "Don't get me wrong, my life doesn't "felt empty, nor it hurted. I have just forgotten what to do and what my life was before he came in it."

"It's called deppression, Liam." said the man. He was throwing glances at the clock on the wall. The time was moving fast, unlike their conversation.

The blue eyed boy just sighed and went to sit on the couch again.

"Look, I know I'm supposed to be figuring out my life or something here, but I've got no intentions of doing this." Liam's blue eyes locked with emerald ones. "I don't need to. I'm not deppresed, I'm not hurt, I'm not lonely or anything, I don't need help."

"You do, even if you don't want to accept it."

"Listen, I'm not a person who needs help, everyone else is. I cannot afford to get help when other people need it. What if someone is in great need of help right now but instead you are here trying to help me when I don't need it?" asked the boy. The man knew he didn't really expect a answer to this, he was just trying to make him stop talking. Liam did it before and he let him, but not this time.

"Liam, you are so messed up." The man said. The stoic expression Liam had on his face dissapeared for a second but it returned right back as if he realized he let his guard down. "Go home, we'll continue this next time."

Without any more words the boy left the room. There was no need to say anything - they both know he was going to come back the same time next week, they both knew they are going to have the same conversation again. It's always been like this. They get together for a session, Liam doesn't want any kind of help, the session ends. They've been doing it for two months now without any improvement.

Liam was a sweet kid, he could be very happy and bubbly, but once someone dissapoints him and he closes to the world; harsh, bored of it all.

Yes, true, he can still talk with people like every normal person, he can still laugh and sing and dance around whenever he feels like it, but most of the times he don't allow anyone coming close to him again.

He  does it, eventually, but it's really hard to come to that point. The biggest issue is, though, that he just passes the phase of not communicating. He just keeps it inside of him, not even fully closing it away, just storing it inside and goes on with life like it never happened.

Liam always thought he needs to take care of the others, never allowing himself to want something, let alone get it. He was willing to do anything for people, even though he claimed to hate them and don't care. If someone needed help, he was always ready to sacrifice his own wishes to help. He offered things he didn't have to help and managed to provide them somehow.

That was Liam's biggest mistake - allowing himself to be used. And it's not even that he don't know it's happening; quite the oppisite, he is fully aware of it.

Still, everyone that got to know him wished him to always stay the same. He never questioned anything or anyone, always faught for others to make sure they are happy.

And there was one thing he always said: "I'm stupid, and I'm going to continue to be. Because I can change the world."

Truth was, most of the peope who meet him started to believe in that. They always tell him in the end to keep trying because even a small change is a step to a big one.

_“Hey, what’s up my little snowdrop? Why so sad?” asked a deep but gentle voice. Liam looked at the slightly taller boy in front of him and sighed._

_“Don’t call me that.” He said a bit angered. “And I am not sad.”_

_“Of course you are not.” Another sigh._

_“What do you want, Theo?” asked Liam. He closed the book he was reading and stared at the said boy who was now sitting in front of him._

_Liam just wanted some piece and quite, hence why he was currently in the library. Theo, his brother’s kind-of-a-friend, had something else in mind appearantly._

_“You just seemed sad, wanted to know why.” Theo said and smiled at him. The death glare didn’t work with him, it never did._

_“Well, thanks for your concern, but I don’t need help.” Liam said and this was the exact moment he noticed the smile on the older boy’s face started to look different. More... wicked._

_“Really?” asked the deep voice again,_ _echoing in Liam’s head over and over again. The green eyes staring at him looked like a deep hole that no one can even escape from._

_Liam stood up from the table and started to walk slowly backwards until he had one of the stands in the library. Theo was still sitting at the table, just staring deep in Liam’s blue eyes, which seemed to be enough for the other boy to not be able to leave._

_“Theo, you are scaring me.”_

_“Really?” was repeated one more time, the concern in the older boy’s voice long gone. It was cold now, like he was trying to throw thousands of arrows in Liam’s direction just by using his voice. “And where were you when I was scared? Where were you when I needed someone to be there and help? Forever, Liam, remember? You promised me eternity.”_

_Theo started to walk towards Liam now, his green eyes cold, still burning holes trough Liam’s scared ones._

_“You didn’t want my help.” The young boy tried to reason. “You pushed me away, you didn’t care. You never wanted me to help.”_

_“That’s were you are wrong, you little snowdrop.” Theo was now standing in front of a trembling Liam. “You were so selfish at the time that you didn’t saw how much I cared, how much I needed you.”_

_“No.” whispered Liam. “No… please don’t call me that.”_

_“Why? You can’t stand it? You don’t want to remember the days before you became such a selfish bastard that you refused to even acknowledge the fact you were hurting someone that you claimed you cared about?!” there was shouting now, no one in the library noticing though._

 “Liam.”

_Liam was shaking, crying; whispering “no” and “sorry” over and over again, nothing of it being heard over Theo’s shouting though._

“LIAM!”

Liam jerked and opened his eyes, locking them with warm brown ones.

“Liam…” The boy in front of him said. “Please don’t cry baby brother.”

“Scott.” Liam hugged his brother and buried his head in the elder’s shoulder. “Scotty, I dreamed of him again. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You can, Liam, and you will. I know you can.” His brother encouraged. “You are strong, stronger than you think. You can do it.”

“I can’t stand the thought that I hurt him.”

“He was the one that hurt you, Liam. You need to understand that.” Scott said trying not to sound angry. The thought of what hurt his little brother was driving him crazy; he wanted to help so badly. But he couldn’t, the only thing he could do was to comfort Liam when he needed it, because he knew if he do what he wanted to, his brother would just end up more wrecked than he already is. “You can’t save everyone.”

Liam actually laughed here. Empty laugh, but still the first laugh he let out from weeks now.

“You’re the one to talk.” The boy pulled away and lied on the bed again, letting his brother sit there and just look at him, while he closed his eyes. “You want to save everyone.”

“Yes, but none of us could do anything in this case. He fooled you; he played with your mind. He fooled all of us, Liam.” Explained Scott for what felt like a hundred time. “You couldn’t do anything.”

“I could’ve at least listened first.”

It was silent after that. Both of them new it was true. He could’ve listened. He could’ve stayed a little while longer.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” Asked Scott and the only answer he got was Liam rolling on the other side of the bed, leaving room for him to lie down.

They didn’t need to talk anymore. It wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. Liam felt like his social life these days was literally repeating the same two conversations over and over again, just with different people.

He didn’t have the dreams every night, but once in a while was enough to wreck him all over again. It was different everytime, though. Each of them started with different memory he had of Theo, from when they met for first time, from where they shared their first secrets with each other, from the light touches and silent nights to all the fights and passionate make up.

The only thing that was the same from those dreams was the fact they never failed to make him wake up in tears, alone or with his brother at his side, reminded how much he screwed up.

Maybe they were all right. Maybe he did need help. Maybe he needed to talk with someone, share the whole story with them.

By the sound of it, Scott was already sleeping next to him, not that he would like to share the whole story with his brother. He loved him dearly, but Scott was not the best person you want to share something deeply personal with.

Stiles, his brother’s best friend, was out of question, too. Liam liked Stiles but Derek once told him that personal problems and Stiles should never be even thought in the same sentence.

Lydia and Peter were also out of question as they had too much over their heads already with buying new house and preparing their wedding.

He didn’t want to bother Mason and Corey with this also, they helped him so much already, but he really felt like he is bothering them way too much with his problems as it is.

That left his psychologist. Yeah, the guy was annoying, but he was the best choice.

Maybe telling the whole story to someone will help him recover. Maybe… just maybe, he could fix himself enough.

Yeah… and just maybe; just maybe he could fix Theo as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, first chapter is up!  
> Again, you can hit me up with any question in my [tumblr](http://wetbrien.tumblr.com).


	3. I need help

Liam woke up to a loud noise coming from downstairs. He groaned and sat on his bed, looking around while rubbing his eyes.

Scott was no longer in the bed with him, but the continiues loud noises from downstairs promted him that his brother is most likely trying to make breakfast... or destroy the kitchen, he wasn’t sure.

The brown haired boy stood up and made his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth and to figure out how to get rid of the bags under his eyes.

The memories from the dream he had last night still in his head, the memories of what caused the this one and all the other dreams still hunting him. Liam sometimes wondered if it will be way easier to just end his life, but then he remembered Scott and how his big brother won’t get over it. Then there was the thought of just finding someone with who he can overlap the memories of Theo but he was always quickly reminded by his fastly beating heart that this was impossible.

“Liam, you up?” Scott’s voice sounded from the door, appearantly left his task at hand – to destroy the house – in favour of checking up on Liam.

“Yeah.” Called the younger boy from the bathroom and turned around just in time to see his brother leaning on the door.

“I made breakfast.” Scott’s deep brown eyes were studying his face carefully now.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten properly for days now, you are going to kill yourself.”

“I’ve been dead for three months now, Scotty.” Simply stated Liam and passed his brother to go and change out from his pajama.

“Baby brother, don’t talk like this.” Scott looked like a kicked puppy now. He looked like this most of the time to be honest, it was really annoying at times. “It will pass, you will be fine. You always are, and we will all help you with this.”

Ah, Scott the saint, always wanted to help. Honestly, Liam loved his big brother dearly, but he was so unintentionally naive that Liam really just wanted to lock him in a room and never let him out to face the cruel world.

“I gotta go, I will be late for school.” The younger said and passed his brother again, going downstairs and out of the house.

There was no need arguing with Scott, this was a conversation they had tons of times the last couple of months. Thruth was, Liam didn’t want anyone to help him. He really didn’t need help, all he needed was to Theo.

Theo who was no longer there, Theo who screwed all of them so much. Theo who Liam thought will always be in his life. Theo who was so almost his, and it was so almost real and it was so almost love.

But Liam should’ve known better. He should’ve.

              

“Hey, Liam, how are you today?” asked Corey smiling sweetly at the boy.

Liam didn’t answer, just passed by his friend and sat two rows back from him, at the last desk in the back of the classroom, ready to bury himself in the History book and forget about the real world for a while.

He pointley ignored the look Mason and Corey shared. Mason was going to give him hell about ignoring him but he couldn’t care less right now. If he was going to do this, he needed to hold back from his friends until the next time he visited his psychologist. If he let someone try and talk to him, again, about all of this, he will back up again and will never tell the whole story to anyone.

During the whole school day Liam made sure to keep his distance from everyone, happy that Scott and his friends graduated last year, or he would’ve had to avoid four more people at the school.

Mason and Corey didn’t try to bother him anymore during the day, they both knew part of the story as everyone else, and they knew Liam good enough to know that trying to talk to him right now will just probably bring up another panic attack and no one wanted this. They knew giving Liam his time to figure things out is the best and that he will talk with them whenever he was ready. Mason was still, after all, his best friend.

When school finished Liam went straight for the woods. It had become a habit for him for the past two months, the only thing he adapted from the advices he was given – go somewhere alone from time to time to clear your head.

Well, the ‘clear you head’ part he was never succesful in but he did needed the time alone from pitying eyes and reassuring smiles. So he found this tree in the woods that was literally just a big old stump, large enough for him and 3 other people to lie down.

Liam left his backpack at the ground next to it and sat on top of the stump, looking around. The woods were a weird place for a teenage boy to go in but he didn’t really care, no one could find him here, no one could smile at him and say ‘everything is going to be fine’. No one was going to lie him here.

He always stayed here for hours, sometimes just staring at the sky and the trees, sometimes thinking about his friends, sometimes about himself and how intentionally naive he was. Most of the times though he spent thinking about what he did so wrong that everything happened this way.

He thought about what he could’ve done differently, how he could’ve just not been so pushy and demanding. He thought about how if he just wasn’t so selfish he could’ve still have a chance to make something out of the almost.

He thought how he was literally a walking heartbreak now. He meant it, what he told Scott. That he’s been dead for three months now. He really was, not physically, but more like mentally. Yeah, mentally dead, emotionally dead. He was indeed completly broken and hell if someone could fix him now.

But he didn’t care, he didn’t want to be fixed. He wanted to feel the emptiness, he didn’t want to anyone to fill it. He didn’t need it, he didn’t need help. He kept telling himself this over and over again for the last couple of months, so much that he was believing it now. He knew that trying to fix himself will be no good, not when he knew there was someone else who needed fixing way more than he did.

He wanted to help. He wanted to help but he was not allowed to. He didn’t care enough to see something was wrong when there was still a chance for him to do something and was oh so late. He was helpless. He couldn’t do anything to help and fix the only person he cared about so so much about.

Liam stayed in the woods until the sun started dissapearing from the sky, and then started walking back home. He was not surpriced no one called to asked where he is, after all this time they all learned that no matter where he went he was always going back home. They didn’t need the search parties they organized the first couple of times, they didn’t need to make all this calls that were always left unanswered in Liam’s phone. No, they knew that the boy will be back.

_“Are you sure you are okay? Are you sure you can do it all by yourself?”_

_Liam ran. He ran as fast as he could but somehow it was still not fast enough. Theo’s voice was right next to his ear no matter the fact his legs did not stop moving._

_“Leave me, please.” Liam cried. “I’m sorry.”_

_“Yeah? Who are you trying to lie to?”_

_“Please, Theo, please.”_

_“I know you can’t do this alone. No matter what you are doing, you are helpless when you are all by yourself. You need help, you need help, you neED HELP!!”_

“Hey, can I move my appointment for today?” Liam asked holding his phone to his ear. His appointment with the psychologist was in three days but he needed to do this now. He really needed to or he was never going to.

“Why?” 

“Because I am your patient and I am willing to share information about what is causing my mental issues with you.” Stated the boy. This was followed of course by a short silens, probably the man on the other side of the phone was frowning.

“Just come after you finish school, okay, I will let the secretary know so she can let you in.” Came the answer.

“Thanks.” Said Liam and hanged up the phone.

He looked up at the sky, trying to not think about what he was to do. He didn’t went to school this morning. He didn’t want to have to face another day avoiding his friends. He didn’t want to do this anymore, he wanted to let someone know, he wanted, once in his life to let someone try to help him. He wanted to stop making mistakes.

And if telling the whole story to someone was going to help Theo, then so be it.

He was in the woods again, lying on the old stump, not minding it was cold outside at all. He just layed there, now with closed eyes, feeling his tired body giving up and his eyes not wanting to open. Not that he could gather any strenght to move, so he just stayed there, letting himself fall asleep.

 

_The boy didn’t know how much time passed with him staying on the stump in the woods but at some point he heard a noise coming from his left. Liam slowly stood up, looking at the direction of the noise and froze._

_Blue eyes locked with emerald ones, losing himself in them as he always did._

_“Theo.” The boy breathed._

_Both of them just stood there watching each other, neither daring to move a inch of their body._

_“Theo.” Said Liam one more time, voice shaking. This was not real. This was just his mind playing tricks on him. Maybe preparing him for what he will have to face when telling the story, or maybe trying to wreck him enough to not tell anything._

_Regardless of his whole being screaming at him to run in the other direction and not give in in the tricks his head was playing, Liam started moving closed to the other boy. Theo on his half did not tear his eyes away from the younger boy, still not moving at all._

_“Theo.” Here it was again, the voice that sounded as it was at the edge of a whole river of tears. The voice that was so unsure that if it was louder everything would dissapear._

_“Liam.”_

_His own name brought Liam back from his trans, hand hanging in the air between the two boys, so close to Theo’s face. Liam was sure that if he tried to touch him his hand will go right trough him, because how could a imagination feel real, but damn that voice made him cry._

_“Theo.” He chocked._

_“Please, don’t cry, my little snowdrop.” Theo’s voice was so gentle and then Liam felt that he was pulled to the, oh so familiar, hard chests of the older boy and he broke._

_He cried with voice so loud. He cried and held the other boy so hard against him that he probably couldn’t breath. Neither of them cared at the moment._

_“Theo.” This seemed like the only thing Liam knew how to say so far._

_“Please, Liam, listen to me.” Theo gently pulled Liam away from him to lock eyes once again. “You need to forget me. I was told you are a wreck, that you are giving up and breaking yourself. Please don’t do this. I can’t let you do it.”_

_“Then come back to me, you fucking piece of-“_

_“You know I can’t, Liam. I can’t. This is the way for you to be safe, and please don’t let my effort to go in the wind.” Theo leaned closed, nuzzling their noses together. “You know I can’t. But I want you to fight, little snowflake. I know you can. Let your friends help you.”_

_“You don’t get to show up after three months and tell me this.” Cried Liam again, dropping down on the ground despite Theo holding him. “You don’t get to-“ he chocked again trough tears._

_“I know. I know, but please, Liam. Don’t do this to yourself.” Theo kissed the top of Liam’s head. “Promise me you will get all the help you are getting offered, Liam. I need you to do this.”_

_“I want to help you.”_

_“The only way you can help now is to get yourself back together. Promise me, Liam.” They were looking in each other’s eyes again._

_“Okay.”_

Liam jercked up from the stump, looking around with scared, wet eyes. No one. There was no one around, he was completly alone, as he always was. But it felt so real.

The green eyes, the deep, but at the same time caring voice, the strong arms. The kill on top of his head that he could still feel as if someone really kissed him.

Taking a quick look at his phone Liam cursed and toke his backpack, running out of the woods to go to his psychologist’s cabinet.

He tried not to think of the dream he had, wiping the tears with the sleeve of his hoodie while sitting in a chair in the waiting room. Just before he gave up in remembering the warm green eyes and starting crying again, the door in front of him opened and a tall man spoke.

“Come on in, Liam.”

“Thanks.” Liam said passing trough the man and sitting on the couch.

“Were you crying?” was the first thing his ‘help’ asked. Liam looked at him with still red eyes and decided not to answer.

“I need help.” He settled for instead. His psychologist seemed surprised.

“You need help with..?”

It was a open question, Liam knew he was supposed to answer but decided to go straight to the point.

“I will tell you about him.”  

“So, you’re gonna tell me what happened.”

“Yes.” Liam turned his head and stared out of the window. “I’m going to tell you the whole story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey, sorry for the long wait.  
> Again, you can hit me up with any question in my [tumblr](http://wetbrien.tumblr.com).

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated most likely once every week. If I'm not drowning in work, that is... But I will do my best! You can jump by my [tumblr](http://wetbrien.tumblr.com/) to annoy me to write and update anytime!


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